Stupid-Ass Pizza Phone Call
Either I’m just getting older and crankier or retail customer service is getting dumber and dumber. Last night I had perhaps the stupidest attempted pizza order in the history of western civilisation. It went like this (names and addresses changed to protect guilty and innocent alike):
(Ring, ring.)
Pizza: Simpelle’s Pizza.
Me: Hi, I want to order a pizza for delivery.
Pizza: (Unintelligible) delivery.
Me: Excuse me? Could you say that again, please?
Pizza: Yes, we do deliver.
Me: Uh…okay. I want to order a pizza for delivery.
Pizza: What’s your address?
Me: 3828….
Pizza: Three…..eight…two…eight…
Me: Shannon Street, that’s S- H – A ….
Pizza: Wait…three…eight…two…
(Really long pause, while I wait for her to say “eight.”)
(Couple more seconds as it dawns on me that she’s not going to say it.)
Me: 3828.
Pizza: Three…eight…two…eight….
Me: Shannon-
Pizza: Three…eight..two..eight….
Me: Shannon Street. S – H – A – N – N – O – N.
Pizza: Three...eight…two…eight…okay, what kind of street?
Me: Sha- You know, never mind. Good-bye.
(Click.)
It was just getting too hard to suspend disbelief that this transaction would ultimately result in a delivered pizza.
(Ring, ring.)
Pizza: Simpelle’s Pizza.
Me: Hi, I want to order a pizza for delivery.
Pizza: (Unintelligible) delivery.
Me: Excuse me? Could you say that again, please?
Pizza: Yes, we do deliver.
Me: Uh…okay. I want to order a pizza for delivery.
Pizza: What’s your address?
Me: 3828….
Pizza: Three…..eight…two…eight…
Me: Shannon Street, that’s S- H – A ….
Pizza: Wait…three…eight…two…
(Really long pause, while I wait for her to say “eight.”)
(Couple more seconds as it dawns on me that she’s not going to say it.)
Me: 3828.
Pizza: Three…eight…two…eight….
Me: Shannon-
Pizza: Three…eight..two..eight….
Me: Shannon Street. S – H – A – N – N – O – N.
Pizza: Three...eight…two…eight…okay, what kind of street?
Me: Sha- You know, never mind. Good-bye.
(Click.)
It was just getting too hard to suspend disbelief that this transaction would ultimately result in a delivered pizza.
posted by PapaDogDuvalier | 7:46 AM
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