Ten Things to Do With a Dead Opossum
(This is a guest post from Mama Dog. Please also note that the dead opossum pictured is not the actual one in our front yard. To see the actual dead possum in our front yard, come on over and look under the washtub. Animal control still hasn't visited.)
1. Exhume, dry, then stuff and use as a decorative pillow
2. Conduct an experiment in putrefaction
3. Leave on doorstep of your enemy
5. Remove carcass from skeleton, then display bones in a curio cabinet
6. Leave in play area at neighborhood park, hide behind big tree, and watch reactions of parents and small children as they come across the maggoty carcass
7. Give back to the dog, to play with
8. Throw in the middle of the street. Bet Animal Control will come sooner that way.
9. Place at bottom of box of old clothes slated for the Salvation Army. Surprise!
10. Let corpse disintegrate on front porch, thereby scaring away those pesky environmental canvassers.