Half-Birthdays
Today is Mama Dog’s half-birthday, a concept she introduced me to but which is pretty self-explanatory even if you don’t know it. Her birthday is 29 September and six months later you have 29 March, and there you have it, half-birthday. The half-birthday was a big deal for her in younger years but she doesn’t really observe it any more. You must be careful what you offhandedly mention to me, though, because a lot of it gets filed away for later use. Moreover, I’ve been trying to make judicious if intermittent use of my Filofax this year, and this time it really paid off. I put a tickler reminder in last Tuesday, and even though I didn’t open the thing up until Thursday, I still had plenty of notice to prepare a wee surprise, which went over swimmingly and has earned me another solid cache of Husband Points, the only currency worth investing in.
I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but Baby Dog’s half-birthday is a curious one; Christmas. She was born 25 June which (if you’ll count along with me on your fingers) is exactly six months from 25 December. When this was first pointed out to me – by Mama Dog, naturally – my first thought was that Baby Dog is one lucky wee bairn. Children born close to Christmas are known to get gypped in the present department. It stands to reason that a child born as far as possible from Christmas will make out like a kissing bandit on both days. There is, admittedly, little danger of Baby Dog going through life unspoilt, but with that particular birthday her doting forebears will have no excuse not to pile on the largesse every six months like clockwork.
It took a while for the other thought to pop into my head, but eventually it did, to wit: if she’s born as far away as possible from Christmas, isn’t that an indication she could be, uh, you know, the antichrist? So far she seems way too adorable for that to be the case, and she hasn’t levitated in her crib or anything, but heck, the whole point of an antichrist is you never know, right? So I’m keeping an eye out for telltale signs – creepy music starting up when she turns around to look at me, animals apparently obeying her telepathic commands, voodoo men turning up in the basement, that sort of thing – but so far nothing. I’ll keep you posted in case she seems inclined to envelop mankind in a lake of fire or anything like that. Or, wait, does God do that bit? Note to self – see if there’s a Cliffs Notes for the Book of Revelation.
I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but Baby Dog’s half-birthday is a curious one; Christmas. She was born 25 June which (if you’ll count along with me on your fingers) is exactly six months from 25 December. When this was first pointed out to me – by Mama Dog, naturally – my first thought was that Baby Dog is one lucky wee bairn. Children born close to Christmas are known to get gypped in the present department. It stands to reason that a child born as far as possible from Christmas will make out like a kissing bandit on both days. There is, admittedly, little danger of Baby Dog going through life unspoilt, but with that particular birthday her doting forebears will have no excuse not to pile on the largesse every six months like clockwork.
It took a while for the other thought to pop into my head, but eventually it did, to wit: if she’s born as far away as possible from Christmas, isn’t that an indication she could be, uh, you know, the antichrist? So far she seems way too adorable for that to be the case, and she hasn’t levitated in her crib or anything, but heck, the whole point of an antichrist is you never know, right? So I’m keeping an eye out for telltale signs – creepy music starting up when she turns around to look at me, animals apparently obeying her telepathic commands, voodoo men turning up in the basement, that sort of thing – but so far nothing. I’ll keep you posted in case she seems inclined to envelop mankind in a lake of fire or anything like that. Or, wait, does God do that bit? Note to self – see if there’s a Cliffs Notes for the Book of Revelation.
posted by PapaDogDuvalier | 10:25 PM
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