b Papa Dog's Blog: Papa Dog's Purloined Index

Papa Dog's Blog

A Thing Wherein I Infrequently Write Some Stuff

Friday, June 17, 2005

Papa Dog's Purloined Index

It’s been a long-ass muh’fuh’n day, with all sorts of ugly surprises at work and other drains on my joie de vivre. I’ve had scarcely a moment all day to think about what I might post on the faversham when things finally settled down enough to do so, but thanks to my lovely and talented wife, I don’t have to. On her thing of majig, she presented a Harper’s Index-type summary of her 16 years in the Bay Area. By coincidence, I’ve lived here almost exactly the same length of time. I arrived almost three and a half years earlier than Mama Dog (I in November of 1985, she in March of 1989), but spent roughly that number of years wandering the earth (specifically, Edmonton, Banff (I was only there about a week, but I thought at the time I was moving there), Las Vegas, Vancouver, and New Orleans). That in itself was enough to decide me to swipe her idea. Well, that plus right now I’m too tired and lazy to think of something of my own. So here goes. My index of stuff from my time in the Bay Area.
  • Number of girlfriends: 2. Well, kind of 4, I guess. But really 2.
  • Number of marriages: 2
  • Number of divorces: 1
  • Number of cars owned: 0
  • Number of cell phones owned: 2, but I’ve rarely used them to talk to anyone but Mama Dog.
  • Number of residences (not counting places lived while wandering the earth): 10
  • Number of houses/apartments rented: 6
  • Number of houses purchased: 1
  • Number of houses/apartments where I was a rent-paying houseguest: 3
  • Number of cities lived in: 3 (Berkeley, Oakland, Pleasant Hill)
  • Number of companies worked for (again, not counting places I worked while wandering the earth): 10 (I think)
  • Number of pets owned: 1 (Doggy Dog)
  • Number of pets that were resident in houses I lived in, but weren’t owned by me: 1 rat, 11 cats, 1 snake, 1 dog
  • Number of children spawned: 1
  • Famous people I’ve met: Pretty much none, because I don’t count comics people as famous. But the best known people I’ve had actual hanging-out-with kinds of conversations would be Harlan Ellison (posted about that a while back) and Neil Gaiman (who told me I wrote a “lovely book”). Plus I spent about ten minutes talking with a group of people that included Miguel Ferrer shortly before he was in Robocop. If I’ve had any other brushes with fame, I’ve forgotten them.
  • When was I poorest? The fall of 1992, when I returned from my doomed first expedition to New Orleans without a cent to my name.
  • When was I richest? 1999, when Mama Dog and I barely even noticed that we had a grotesque combined income.
  • When was I most fucked up? 1992 – 1993. The Year of the Chair.
  • When was I most fulfilled? Now.
  • Number of therapists: 0
  • Year I quit smoking: Never started.
  • What were my 3 most enjoyable experiences? (In chronological order)

    o The day we had a mimosa breakfast with Chuck and Carolyn (not a couple – they were just both there), and then ended up spending the entire day all four of us together, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and ending the night by watching Miller’s Crossing.

    o Mama Dog’s surprise party – the one she asked me to throw, but I still managed to surprise her. Tied with the not-surprise party, when I hired the accordion guy (whom I wish I could find some trace of on the Internet but can’t, so no link, sorry).

    o The birth of Baby Dog.

  • What 2 experiences would I most like to forget? I’m not big on forgetting, not even the unpleasant stuff. I suppose I wouldn’t mind forgetting ever having seen that idiotic Disneyland movie . Or the time I saw that fat guy naked.


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