b Papa Dog's Blog: January 2007

Papa Dog's Blog

A Thing Wherein I Infrequently Write Some Stuff

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


I think I’ve written before of this, but I’m too lazy to look it up just now – we have a habit in our little family of adding the modifier “-ass muh’fuh’n” to perfectly innocent phrases. Like, “Doggy Dog’s a good-ass muh’fuh’n dog.” Or “Merry-ass muh’fuh’n Christmas.” For me, this goes back to the day years ago when some guy on the street saluted Ambrose’s car as a “Raw-ass muh’fuh’n Cutlass.” I’m not sure what Mama Dog’s history with it is.

Anyway, I’ve long been in the habit of answering “Very-ass muh’fuh’n well” when asked to complete some ordinary household task. “Would you please get me a fork?” Mama Dog would ask. “Very-ass muh’fuh’n well,” I’d reply.

When Baby Dog began to acquire language and we started to clean up our act verbally, I was loath to lose such a piquant phrase from my vocabulary. Being a bright-eyed clever little fellow, what I did was truncate it to an acronym. VAMFW. Only I’d pronounce the acronym phonetically. “Could you pour Baby Dog’s bath?” Mama Dog would ask. “VAM-fwuh!” I would reply, con gusto.

Eventually, the inevitable happened; Baby Dog repeated “VAM-fwuh!” and laughed loudly. She had no idea what it meant, but she finds many of Daddy’s funny little words worth repeating and laughing at.

The other night, Mama Dog asked me to do something, and I said “VAM-fwuh!” Baby Dog echoed me, with laughter. Mama Dog asked her, “Baby Dog, what does ‘vam-fwuh’ mean?” Baby Dog pondered for a moment and answered, with gravity, “Okay.”

How about that? She can translate nonsense from context.