b Papa Dog's Blog: More on the Candidates, and an Unanticipated Flashback to the 80s

Papa Dog's Blog

A Thing Wherein I Infrequently Write Some Stuff

Monday, October 25, 2004

More on the Candidates, and an Unanticipated Flashback to the 80s

Okay, I have to admit that since learning of her existence last Friday, I’ve developed an unseemly fascination with Ms. Temperance Alesha Lance-Council. Her NPAT responses are a little on the inscrutable side (she wants to greatly increase funding for pretty much everything but maintain the current tax structure?) and the organizations she lists membership in seem a little on the unconventional side (Kappa Alpha Psi Sweetheart Organization and the Screen Actors Guild), but damn is she foxy! She’s got them bedroom eyes! And – what’s the dignified, respectful, politically correct term? – oh yeah, that rack! I’m a happily married man who’d never stray, but hey, lemme tell ya, if I was a single fella right now, I’d be looking for a way to contact her to discuss farm subsidies, international free trade agreements, and the quality of life index, if you know what I mean and I think you do. I have to say, though, I’m terribly disappointed that she seems to have switched her official photo on Project Vote Smart in the last day or two. I thought the “sweater girl” look was quite fetching. In the new one she looks like somebody who maybe recorded for Arista in the 80s. Aw man, and she’s married too. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

Also, I’ve looked a little closer at the guy from the United Fascist Union, and I’m kind of sorry I left him off the poll. Check out the Marvin the Martian headgear! The guy’s not talking Hitler and Mussolini, he’s talking Imperial Rome, as he so uh…eloquently explains on his official site. Oh, well, that’s entirely different. I suppose the party's name should have been a tip-off that he was either kidding or truly loopy. “United Union?” As opposed to a Divided Union? Do we really need to be reassured that the fascists aren’t divorcing themselves? His NPAT responses are a compelling but sublimely off-kilter read…kind of like some demented Ken Follett novel translated into Japanese and then back again by Google. Hey, and like the alluring Ms. Lance-Council, he lists his membership in the Screen Actors Guild!

And on the home front…Baby Dog continues to draw from me inner resources I didn’t know I possessed. Like yesterday, I was singing to her and discovered to my puzzlement that I knew all the words to Solsbury Hill. I remember spending an afternoon decoding them all at Mikef’s place in Fontana, but that was sometime in the late 80s. Why, of all the brain cells to retain since then, do I still have that one? And boy, do those words sound silly without a professional singer and proper studio arrangements to make them unintelligible. Like this little rhyme: “When illusion spin her net/I'm never where I want to be/And liberty she pirouette/When I think that I am free.” Uh…okay, that’s all ethereal and mysterious, Pete, but what the fuck’s it supposed to mean? All right, “liberty she pirouette,” I suppose that means that freedom eludes your grasp, but freedom from what? And could you possibly have found a more ungainly and impenetrable way to express it? And let’s not even talk about your verb tenses. You’re an Englishman, damn it, you should know better.


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