b Papa Dog's Blog: Why I’m a Zombie

Papa Dog's Blog

A Thing Wherein I Infrequently Write Some Stuff

Friday, February 17, 2006

Why I’m a Zombie

So, Baby Dog’s screaming crying croup attack last night lasted until after midnight, when I finally got her settled. We collapsed into exhausted sleep that lasted until around 4:30 when Baby Dog again woke up screaming. This time, we ran the tub to steam up the bathroom, and I sat on the toilet with her on my lap, rocking and singing and reading “What a Pig” while the steam loosened up her bronchial passages. It must have worked, because I was able to get her back in the crib calmed and quieted in less than fifteen minutes.

When I went back to bed, it occurred to me that my cumulative sleep deprivation from the last few days was reaching a breaking point. “I’m going to reset the alarm,” I told Mama Dog. “There’s no way I can get up at 6 a.m. today.” She mumbled okay and went back to sleep as I did the resetting. Sleep didn’t come so easily to me. If Baby Dog was making noise, it kept me awake, and if she wasn’t making noise I was straining to hear if she was still breathing, and that kept me awake too. I’d feel like maybe I could drift off and then the dog would tackety tack tack his claws on the hardwood. I’d shift around, find a good position, start to drift, then hear the girl cough. I tossed and turned until I looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:50. “Fuck it,” I thought. “At least I’ve been sort of resting. I’ll just get up.”

I got up, took a whiz, got the paper, let the dog out, put the kettle on…and saw that the microwave clock said 6:00. I stared, bumfuzzled. Then I looked at the computer. It also said 6:00. “What th—?” How could the microwave and the computer both be wrong? Then I looked a the battery-operated analog clock on the wall and saw that it too said 6:00, and it finally dawned on me – when I’d set the alarm ahead, I’d also set the clock ahead. Thinking I’d lingered in bed for an extra hour, I’d actually gotten up ten minutes earlier than usual.

So that’s why I’m going to bed right now.


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