Doggy Dog is a Red Stater
The other morning, Baby Dog was indulging in her recently acquired pre-meal ritual of looking inside the fridge (the “refrigelator” as she puts it) and identifying the contents of the Tupperware and other containers therein. “Strawberries! Avocado! Cheese! Yogurt!” As it happened, one of the Tupperware containers housed the leftovers from the previous night’s beef soup. When she reached up at it, Doggy Dog, who’d been unobtrusively monitoring her actions, lunged. It was no big deal, really. I was standing between them and at his first movement I said “No!” sharply, and he stopped on a dime and retreated. Baby Dog never even noticed, she was so absorbed in the contents of the refrigelator. But it was a sobering reminder of the wisdom of our doggy/baby apartheid policy. She’ll never be in the same room with him without close supervision. There’s just no telling when his little doggy brain is going to interpret Baby Dog’s benign curiosity as a threat to his food supply.
I told Mama Dog the story, and she got a little freaked out. Halmonie got very freaked out at third hand when Mama Dog passed it along. It revived the idea of finding a new home for Doggy Dog, though only briefly and not too seriously. “He sees her near the meat and thinks he’s acting in his own best interest to defend his food,” I said. “He has no idea that he’s doing the worst thing he can possibly do for his own well being.” That sounded familiar to me. After a moment’s thought, I realised why. “He’s like a lower income Republican,” I said. Mama Dog laughed. “The meat is patriotism.” Yes. It’s the American flag. It’s a partial birth abortion ban. It’s the God-given freedom to deny basic civil rights to homosexuals. “Yeah,” I said, “it’s what he thinks he has to protect, but acting to protect it just puts him that much closer to losing his place in this house.” Protecting the flag and the unborn and the traditional definition of marriage only gets him a big tax cut for people way richer than himself and a gradual dismantling of the regulations and social services that are there to protect him.
I told Mama Dog the story, and she got a little freaked out. Halmonie got very freaked out at third hand when Mama Dog passed it along. It revived the idea of finding a new home for Doggy Dog, though only briefly and not too seriously. “He sees her near the meat and thinks he’s acting in his own best interest to defend his food,” I said. “He has no idea that he’s doing the worst thing he can possibly do for his own well being.” That sounded familiar to me. After a moment’s thought, I realised why. “He’s like a lower income Republican,” I said. Mama Dog laughed. “The meat is patriotism.” Yes. It’s the American flag. It’s a partial birth abortion ban. It’s the God-given freedom to deny basic civil rights to homosexuals. “Yeah,” I said, “it’s what he thinks he has to protect, but acting to protect it just puts him that much closer to losing his place in this house.” Protecting the flag and the unborn and the traditional definition of marriage only gets him a big tax cut for people way richer than himself and a gradual dismantling of the regulations and social services that are there to protect him.
posted by PapaDogDuvalier | 11:00 PM
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